Not the funnest of things - being down from injuries. However, I have found things to keep me busy and in fact when your life is pretty filled with Soccer from Tuesday-Saturday, Sunday Church activities and all the never ending family activities as well - life is filled. Comes down to it, I am not sure why I am even running to be honest? It is really killing my Achilles for one. Last thing I want in life is a ruptured Achilles. Well, ruptured anything just sounds bad.
I am not sure about the goals of all this. I have a Sister, someone I greatly love and admire passing away of Cancer. Really any day now at this point. The pain has been really, well, I am not dealing with it. Only she can tell you exactly what it is like. My observations tell me it is H e double hockey sticks. I can easily sit here and say I need to run this Marathon for my Sister. However, lets face it. If I run at this point - I might be joining her on the other side of the veil of our eternal existence. Man, I cannot even tell ya how overweight I am. 20, 30, 40 pounds. You would think the running would burn it off overnight. Funny it always seemed to do so in the past? Anyway, the Achilles pain, the calves, and a new one. An almost crunching like sound and feeling on the right sides of both knees.
So, where to go from here? My family is what is most important to me. My wife and kids. They need me healthy for a very long time. Obviously dieting and maybe less road miles. More Precor buddy sessions and maybe I should take up biking again. Bites getting old. Irony, I wanted to complete this marathon quest so my kids could see their Dad do it. The example of a lifetime. However, at this point, I think I need to slow things down. Concentrate on the diet more and maybe less road running on the knees. Doing this all for the kids at my age and weight seems to make more sense. Between the irregular heartbeats and now the painful body parts - I think my body is trying tell me something. My marathon is being a healthy Dad an husband for life. Not just this one goal of finishing 26.2 miles.
So, I am slowing it down folks. I will shoot for a marathon more off in the distance. Need to get my weight down 25-30 pounds first. After that ..... ?
Not sure how many blog postings I will make after this? Running From My Inner Squidward I know was more than just running. I don't think there is anymore running needed from the other Squidward Tentacle tendencies. Reaching out to my family during this time of my Sisters tragic passing has well, changed me. I have grown closer to another Sister through it all. Closer to my Brother. Maybe that was the last thing in my life I needed to stop running from? Good family when it comes down to it. After losing our parents and oldest Sister in this life now, I think all of us remaining are having the mighty change of heart I thought just one of us needed. Turns out all of us did. It is a good change as well.
Someone told me once, with certainty that Dalmatians cannot remove their spots. Meaning none of us really can change. I think it is the same sentiment or theme behind the Thomas Hardy novel the Mayor of Casterbridge. No matter how we might think we have changed, some fate, either internal or external will ultimately dictate how we end up being. I disagree. I believe in redemption of all things big and small in life. From saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to someone you love or have no relationship with at all. Or, redemption from things bigger. I think as we acknowledge the little things we are imperfect with or do. Simple mistakes ordinary ones, we try to improve and better ourselves beyond; then, we keep ourselves on a constant path of avoiding bigger pratfalls in life.
So, at this point, working on the simpler things like changing bad eating habits first. Then after that, hopefully after constant path of doing so will lead to a Marathon down the road. Little by little, precept upon precept till the end. That's what this whole plan is all about Charlie Brown.
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